June 13, 2009

What the hell, Sprite, just what the hell were you thinking? (WTF ads)

Before the previews leading into the new Star Trek...

Man, the long hot days of summer. The asphalt jungle, it's denizens.... the skateboarders, the bicyclists, the sweaty slaves to corporate melancholy commercial pseudo protest rock that linger, hot, sweaty, and clothed in mostly earth tones, in the midst of what is the most Soda inspiring weather. The trademarked logo'd , brand guidelined beads of condensation clinging to the screen like so much macro-written horse drivel. Yet another ad for sugar water, an unwelcome guest before real entertainment.

A standard soda commercial, right? No, in fact, something much much worse. Something that makes you question the judgement of the people who funded it.

As the music rises up, two skateboarders decide to run headlong into each other and with the rising crescendo of the pseudo-rock, they explode their component chemicals, mostly water, I'm guessing, and , in a great gush of bodily fluids they coat their friends in an enormous spray of what appears to be a cleansing ritual of orgasmic cool fluid.

In the course of the 30 second commercial, 10 male of the species literally ram into each other in what might be meaning to invoke a dominance ritual, but instead of a winner going and bedding the females of the pack, the combined secretions (no blood, to be sure, just enormous gouts of watery remains) flow and spray all over the surrounding crowd, their rapt, happy expressions unmistakable in their glee at being able to absorb and consume their fellow human kind. Only one female offers herself, not in single combat with another for pack dominance, but instead, a stage dive into a crowd of about 15 or so people , a polyglot of men and women, who receive her stage dive of fertility as she explodes into the largest geyser of cataclysmic remains, covering a better park of the park in her ferocious leavings.

So, yeah, what the hell, Sprite? Here's a link to the ad in question:



8 comments:

Nelson said...

Looks like Sprite knows exactly what they're selling.

Bang Del said...

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Anonymous said...

Here Here!
Although, one could argue that this single specimen of 21st century mass marketing does not represent a pyridine shift, only the continuing downward spiral to reach the least common denominator on the archaic platform that is mass marketing.

ikedaattractor said...

Funny stuff man. The first time I saw that commercial I starting laughing uncontrollably at the absurdity.

We may be witnessing a transition in entertainment for the common man to a new era of psychedelia without reflection on meaning.

http://io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie

Tek Nos said...

really WTF????

Anonymous said...

advertising is for ignoring

Deron said...

I have to agree, Chris, that is one f*ed-up ad. Nice blog, and it also looks like you're having fun with your career. Maybe we'll run into each other again someday. Take care, Deron Lovaas

ProfessorTom said...

You haven't blogged in a while. Came here from your Twitter account because I like your guest appearances on Cranky Geeks.

How do you feel about blogging these days?