May 1, 2008

Judge orders halt to spraying for moth, Zombie apocalypse will have to wait

In this article: Judge orders halt to spraying for moth we learn that Judge Burdick has put spraying of moth phermones on hold pending further environmental review.

What you don't know is that here in the Zombie Abatement Corps (ZACs, for short) , we've been keeping a very close eye on this case. You see, we've found that the symtomology present in class G Zombies is catalyzed by certain hormones that are very similar to those that would have been employed in this spraying. While Class Gs are low functioning shamblers, and relatively easy to kill, we hardly can allow an untested spray of this nature to continue before we have a chance to test this compound for its zombie producing ability.

This spraying, which targets the Light Brown Apple Moth, is a synthetic hormone that, moleculary speaking, is nearly identical to the cdc synthesized and sequenced zombotanical catalyst "golemerase" that escaped the lab and caused the Lithia Springs zombie massace last fall.

Do I need to remind you of Lithia Springs? I doubt it, we all knew someone caught up in that attack. We lost some 40,000 souls to the infestation, and we spent a good month plus rooting out the last of them. I was stationed there during the action, and it was the worst experience of my life, I lost a lot of friends that month.

Anyhow, the reality is that we're worried that this could get as far as it did and we didn't become aware of it until recently. We can't be everywhere and if you start hearing the words "synthetic hormone" in connection with insect control, think about Lithia and the people there who were insufficiently observant. And then call or email us.

It's not like a class G Zombie is even all that scary. You'll have plenty of time to get away from these 'stumbling menaces'. But if you are old enough, or inexperienced enough, you'll be stuck, and we ZACs can't be everywhere, we can't save everyone. Anyhow. we'd like to thank Judge Burdick for his help in stalling the spraying until we're done with our tests on the compound.

A note to all ZACs subscribed to this feed hunting Class Bs in British Columbia, be careful out there, we're thinking of you.

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